Why did the Chicken Cross the Road
(forwarded to me)
ROBERT DE NIRO: Are you telling me the
chicken crossed that road? Is that what you're
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, The chicken
crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world
where all chickens, be they're black or white or brown
or red or speckled, will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the
chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the
chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for
REV. FRED NILE: Because the chicken was gay!
Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain
truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to
the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the
"other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.
And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.
It is the will of Jesus and the Lord that we boycott
all chickens until we sort out this abomination
that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken
should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and
simple as that.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to
cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act
of rebellion and violence by counter-revolutionary
terrorists and we were forced to defend ourselves from
the menace of the chicken by dropping 500 tons
of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no
chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with
your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross
before you believe it's true?
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned
that the chicken crossed the road reveals your
underlying sexual insecurity. How do you feel about your
BILL GATES: We have just released eChicken
2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay
eggs (only in the proprietary brown_ms.egg
format), file your important documents, and balance your
chequebook and Internet Explorer is aninextricable
part of the Chicken.
THE CIA: Who told you about the chicken? Did
you see the chicken? There was no chicken. Please step
into the car, sir.
EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the
road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT
chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could
you define the word "chicken"?
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens,
and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the
road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was